I wanted a mission, I desperately wanted one. Something that makes u just forget the mundaneness of your existence and gives u a purpose to work with zeal and vigor towards the path, you believe u were chosen to march towards. But, every time, i thought i had one, well it turned out to be, not.
One time, I believed i chose the right one. It wasn’t. The next time, i chose another and it also wasn’t. Third time, i chose a different one and again, it turned out to be that it wasn’t. If i go back and analyze each of these events, every single time, I chose a mission that was doomed to fail, or one that doesn’t make no sense to a normal, conservative life.
If i analyze this now, with a toothbrush in my mouth and with a laptop on my bed, thats not yet been made and i realize i have that aha moment: my mind and my heart have been at odds with each other for the last 20 years: heart wants to be adventerous and mind doesn't;. Because of their collective efforts in sabotaging each other, I now see myself effectively as a man with no mission. Because, whatever mission i might chose, one of them is going to make it fail and give me heart burn or mental anguish.
I’m the man with no mission and thats not without any reason. May be, thats saying something.
