Its weird to write a blog in memory of tatayya. Its unexpected and I’m unprepared. You told me on my way back in November that you may not be there next time I come, but I didn’t pay much attention. I’m unprepared and so is my blog. But, I’m going to write it anyways, because I love you and the only thing my blog will convey coherently is my love and nothing else.
You are the most optimistic person I’ve met Tatayya. You have filled optimisim in my life, taught me to smile and to believe in myself. I’m not a good student and every now and then, I revert to my pessimism and lack of self belief, but if you weren’t there, I wouldn’t be in this stage of my life. I would have probably been in India and possibly very close to you. You made me into what I’m and yet, in doing so, I’m deprived of my presence next to you and be with you. Twenty years and counting, I’m in foreign lands and living a lavish lifestyle, but never once were you able to visit me and see how far your grandson who couldn’t even tie his shoelaces properly has come.
You have joked with me, you have chided me, you have advised me, you hav e warned me and through all this, you have moulded me. You taught me the value of money, you taught me to fear and be cautious, you taught me to be prepare, you taught me to save for the rainy day and you taught me to spend wisely. I was at times a keen student and at times a reluncant student and yet, you never gave up on me. You made sure that I learnt the lesson and you also ensured that I followed it.
You have taught me the importance of marriage and how a good husband should be: like a friend, like a companion, like an admirer, like an advisor and at times like a child. The affection you have for ammamma, the way you say “Shanta”, the admiring glances you give her and the countless times you would lose to her in games, all of these are etched in my memory. I’m so blessed to have those days still fresh in my memory, where I spent time at your place and have observed you in such close quarters.
In the past few years, you have suffered a lot, tatayya! For someone who is full of life and energy, you were confined to the four corners of your house. And yet, you had a smile on your face. Never did you make us privy to your worries and carried on with life with the same optimism.
My dear tatayya, you have etched your values, your ideas and your thinking into me. By doing so, you have given me a runbook of what a good son, a good father, a good husband and a good grandfather does. I won’t be as awesome as you in each of these jobs, but with your tutelage and training, I would pass through life. And someday, I will impart it to my grandson or grand daughter the same things I learnt from you.
So, while I may miss your physical presence and your infectious smile, your voice and your values will always be within me and will be carried over to future generations.
I miss you my friend, my mentor and my grand father!
