Before I met him, I didn’t have a true friend, a BFF. I had friends in school, I had friends in my college, but never had a friendship for life. I didn’t miss it that much. I felt, you meet people, you hang out with them, you have fun and then you move on. Truth to be told, I was a bit proud about myself for being in such a way. And then I met Keshav. He challenged me, He changed me and more importantly he stuck with me. Two decades later, we are still in close touch, even though time has placed in two different continents and have had not the opportunity to stay in the same place for more than a week in twenty years. Yet, our bonding remains in tact and we relive our memories together, each time we chat with the same passion and the same fondness.
It was not that we were always like this. We fought immensely, argued about everything under the sun and spent prolonged times avoiding each other during college days. As fate would have it, we would be friends again. And then we would argue again and then the cycle repeated endlessly, until I moved to USA. As you might have surmised, when I moved to USA, we were not on talking terms. But, it was Keshav who took the first step of connecting back with me, once I reached, as a true friend. The joy of seeing an email from your best friend in an unknown country with unknown people made me cry and I told him my travails of getting rejected for a dish-cleaner job. He brushed past those concerns asking me to aim higher and sure enough, I got a teaching assistant job, that helped me get tuition assistance and helped me stand upon my feet.
How did we meet? It was not a friendship that happened in one go. Keshav moved to nizamabad to pursue his engineering. He was destined for bigger things and coming to nizamabad was something, he resented. I, on the other hand, felt elated that I got into engineering. I never expected to get in and so I was on cloud nine. But, our first year engineering results were not that great. Both of us had our first meaningful conversation on the day our results were announced and decided to lean on each other to make ourselves accountable and goal oriented. I don’t know why it was just the two of us who decided to go this route, but I think fate really wanted us to be friends, I guess.
Keshav lived with three other roommates and I lived with my parents. It was convenient for me to visit his room and study with him. I got along extremely well with Keshav’s roommates and at times to the annoyance of Keshav. Keshav had a strong personality that made him take stances at the expense of hurting other people’s sentiments. I was of a more subdued demeanor, innocent and trusting and hence I got along well with people. My opinions were not as well formed as Keshav’s and hence they suited the popular opinions and were more palatable to others. I was a conformist and he was an idealist.
Movies were a central part of our friendship in those days. We went to a lot of movies together and at times, we went to the movie just for the sake of it. There were very few movies that escaped our attention. Even movies like Telangana (a ridiculous movie eulogizing naxalism), Preyasi Rave (a B-grade movie in which the hero commits suicide to donate his heart for his lover’s husband, go figure!) were duly attended. We had our arguments also over movies and heroes, especially heroes. It is ironic that we spent so much of our college years arguing and fighting about movie heroes and rarely bothered discussing heroines. The only heroine I cared in those days was Aishwarya Rai and my adulation was annoying to many, including Keshav. One time, while watching Taal movie, I asked keshav to close his eyes, because Aishwarya Rai was in a revealing costume. Keshav duly obliged.
Our first fight happened for the most ridiculous reason. It was about, whether people had air conditioners from the place, Keshav came. I made an off hand remark about that and it annoyed Keshav. And the heated debate began. I defended myself with unsubstantiated claims and this annoyed Keshav, who is usually well prepared and well versed on any topic. I also had (have) this annoying habit of changing goalposts and shifting conversations in the middle, which made him even more angrier. The roommates could do nothing but be mute spectators and eventually the fight subsided. I dont remember how it ended, but it ended and both of us were extremely cordial to each other in the next moment.
In one instance, when Keshav called my home, I tricked him into believing that he was talking to my uncle and to my cousin by changing my accent and modulation, when he was talking to me all along. I made fun of him and the next time he tricked me into believing that his roommate was drunk and that he insisted in seeing me right away. I went along hurriedly and everyone was laughing when I entered the room. We were equals and none of us was above the other.
Our second year of college was perhaps the smooth sailing part of our friendship. We studied together, spent long hours in the lab coding and reading data structures. Keshav was good in electronics and electrical subjects and I was good at programming. Our collaboration was mutually beneficial as reflected in our academic results. I topped the college by the end of the year and we celebrated with zest in a nice restaurant.
From third year, we began to fall apart and our fights started getting longer and bitter. I attributed to me doing better in academics and Keshav attributed it to me being arrogant. We were both being stupid and narrow minded. One of our professors, who noticed this, tried to make us get along with each other. Unfortunately, such efforts didn’t last long. We would talk for sometime, then argue with each other and then stop talking altogether for months.
I still remember the last day of college, when Keshav was leaving Nizamabad. We had a fight on the last night of his stay and I didn’t go to see him off on the next day. We only talked to each other, after Keshav took the step of reaching out to me after I moved to US for higher studies.
Things became better after I moved to US. We stayed in touch constantly and the distance never separated us. We met on every single trip to India I made after that and made it a point to visit one place or the other and spend time reminiscing the old days and talking about the future. I also did my part visiting Keshav in chicago, when he came to US on an official trip. Our talks in those days consisted of dreaming about the ambitions we harbored and providing mutual encouragement to each other.
I wanted to pursue acting and he wanted to get into politics. I did some acting classes in Seattle and he encouraged me. We would discuss movies, stories and ideas and how I should shape my future. Things never materialized because I took the easy path of taking a cushy IT job and just going along with the motions. I didn’t have the talent as well, so probably it ended up well for me.
For Keshav, it was a different matter altogether. He did extremely well in his company and rose very fast among the ranks to become a manager. His company loved him and when he announced that he was quitting his tech job to become a businessman and a politician, they were surprised. I was surprised too, as I must admit. I knew he was taking steps in that direction, but I never anticipated that he would do it so quickly and so deftly. As I reflect now, he planned and strategized the thirties of his life, very well, in deliberating and taking each step with the big picture thinking. I’m proud of his courage and his ability to take calculated risks.
Politics are not everyone’s cup of tea. For a straight talking, passionate and upfront guy like Keshav, it can be difficult, but he is treading along these waters with ease. The politics of today have changed a lot and the aspirational style of leadership in India is playing a big part in helping folks like Keshav do well in politics.
I’m genuinely happy for my friend and no matter what role he plays in active politics, he has already gained my respect for following his heart and trusting his ability. I only hope that when he stands for a public election, I can campaign as a foot soldier and ensure his victory. The story of the squirrel doing its little bit in the construction of ram sethu comes to my mind and I will be honored to be that squirrel.
My friend, Be that Keshav, who never comprised on ideals. Be that Keshav, who entered politics for changing the society. Be that same Keshav, who never took the popular position for the sake of convenience. Be that same Keshav, who didn’t mind brushing his best friend for the sake of ideals. Be that same Keshav, who believed in himself and his ability to do the right thing, no matter the cost it imposes on him. Be that Keshav, that I’ve known all along, to the rest of India. In this post-covid world, India needs a lot of those Keshav’s to stand back on her feet and guide the rest of the world.
