I felt exhilarated.I felt liberated. The scenery around me was gory and full of devastation. I saw mutilated bodies everywhere, I saw horror and I saw agony. I could hear screams reverberating through the air, I could smell the burning flesh but strangely I felt exhilarated.
I looked at a body that was separated from its head and it was moving about oddly and trying to prostrate in front of a woman. Without the head, there was no balance and it fell down to the ground with a thump. A loud thump. And yet, it didn’t deter it from trying again. Why? I glanced to see the head of that body and oddly enough, I found it. It was far away but I could instinctively see it. The face didn't look agonized. The eyes didn't express terror or shock. They were in sublime bliss.There was a smile, an expression of satisfaction and a sense of relief.
I was shocked. The face that showed happiness was mine. I have never seen it in that state of bliss. I have seen the eyebrows frown, the eyes widened to make others either cower in front of me or shriek and run away. I have my mouth twitched tightly, lips clenched together and my teeth only shown in anger and in extreme rage but never in smile. I never knew I could have this sublime expression. How can Mahishasura, the destroyer of the devas and the conqueror of the world be sublime?
I was drawn towards another face. It was of a woman, the same whom I battled for days. The dark one, I would say. The hideous one, I would try to insinuate, but the magnetism of her drew me towards her. She smiled and laughed pleasantly, but it insulted me. I told her boldly that I was the conqueror of all planets and yet I knew deep in my hear that I couldn’t conquer her. I told her that nothing could destroy me except a feeble and weak woman, ah! what chance does she have? And she did destroy me. Eventually, I would add. I gave her a fight, a worthy one, but she overcame me.
She beckoned me. Not with derision or with anger. But she could see me. But what is “me”? Is it the body thats laying over there or the head that’s separated and is far away? Or is it me, the entity that can everything except for ME. What am I? Still, she saw ME. I knew it. She motioned her hand towards me and beckoned me to come towards her. I remember those eyes. The ones which were like rising volcanos earlier were like melting mountains. I saw coolness. I saw warmth. I saw ananda. I saw serenity. I thought I moved but I didn’t. I thought I drifted but I didn’t. I thought I floated but I didn't. One second I was here and in the another instant , before the blink of an eye, I was near her, or was I inside her? I didn’t see her, but I felt her presence. I didn’t submerge into her, but I was within her. Like a baby inside a mother’s womb, Like a baby held tightly, real tightly by the mother. She is not me, but I’m her. I’m not mahishasura, I’m mahisha.
