This father’s day is special. Every other year, father’s day is another event to celebrate and be thankful. But, this father’s day to me, is about introspection and examination.
I wonder what the role of a father is? A mother is there to love and to nurture. Whats the role of a father? Growing up, the role of a father was to provide food, to provide shelter and to provide security. The children would grow by themselves in a good environment. It’s no longer the case today. With both parents working, the role of a father has to evolve.
In my close relationships, the role of a father has been to be a mentor and to be a coach. I struggle to fulfill those roles. I got a lot of freedom in my childhood and I grew on my own volition, so to be a person who is there to coach is contrarion to my principles. I know that within Mother Nature, there are ample examples of animals teaching their kids to survive, to live life and to help them learn the essential skills. But, I don’t know I would be good at teaching those.
I see myself trying to provide an environment I yearn. And surviving life is the least of such environments I want to provide. I spent a lifetime living for survival and when that was no longer a problem, I don’t know what else to do? I do a few things occasionally, but I don’t seem to immerse in them. So, what could I teach to others when I haven’t figured out the act myself together?
I only seem to be the one who can be hung around for fun and for happy times. Like the grasshopper in the sunny days. You hang around me to have fun and then you move on to better things. Is that how I see the fatherhood as then? Hang around, enjoy life and then learn from the others? May be thats the best I could do and may be it isn’t a bad thing? In a life of disciplinarian father figures, I stand out as the fun dad. But, would that prepare the kid for the world out there? That depends on the kid, I guess.
I saw the movie Finding Nemo yesterday and the story of the turtle-pack seems to be like me. The turtle dad, Crash, I guess, was going along with their kids in a happy, merry way and just pushes his kid to swim in the wide and this freaks out the dad of Nemo, Merlin, and Crash remarks, something like, you never know when they are ready in a casual way. I’m probably like that dad, except for the pushing part! I don’t know where I’m going with this, except that, may be the success and the future of the kid depends on the kid more than the parents and the role of parents is to provide a safe environment.
Which was what my parents did. They gave us a good atmosphere and a life where we could be what we want to be and then I chose the life I wanted, not the one that pushed onto me. So, my choices are mine and the life I have is a consequence of my own responsibilities, then? Damn! I’m afterall responsible for my life and not someone else. So, what I want next depends on what I want then. Not some universe, not some god sitting on his throne and certainly not some planets revolving about in the solar system minding their own business and following Physics.
The only thing then I’ve to be grateful and thankful is the environment that made me what I’m and that didn’t let me ponder too much about the road not taken scenarios. I’ve taken all the roads I could and I still wonder on the destinations I could go to.
Happy father’s day!
