Four Interviewing Etiquette Rules I follow as an Engineering Leader

sg
4 min readApr 25, 2023

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I saw a post on medium, where an employee from a FAANG brags about how he/she rejects 95% of the interviewees. Coming from FAANG, I responded back asking for compassion and empathy to the interviewee. I wrote a 2 paragraph summary, but felt this needed its own post. I’m not linking to the original post, because I think the author wrote mostly valid points, but the title was offensive. Perhaps, a clickbait?

I worked at Google for several long years. I emphasize the long part because after a while, thats how it felt. I was at the silicon valley and my home was close to Google, so to find another job and commute was too much for me. Plus, the perks were good and the pay was great and so, it was a case of being too comfortable and not trying too hard. During those times, I would scoff at people who would interview and proclaim that, “Google is their dream company”. Surely, they were wrong, right? Aren’t all companies worth their salt, developer friendly? Surely, other companies also have free barista’s and free lunches. Only when I left Google, did I realize that there is a reason why people want to work at Google!

So, my perspective on how I work as an interviewer has changed. It wasn’t that I was a horrible interviewer before, but the empathy part of making the interviewee comfortable was something I emphasized more. It also helped that I worked at a startup and creating a good interview experience could be a determining factor for a talented candidate to choose over company over others, even if they paid more money than us. We were at the seventy fifth to eighteth percentile in pay range, so if we could hire a strong candidate with a great interview experience, thats an added bonus to us!

A few rules that I follow:

Always enforce empathy with the interviewee.

I have bombed many interviews and it helps to know that there are days when you simply don’t perform at your best, either because you have a personal thing going on or you feel overwhelmed. As an interviewer, you should try to not change your behavior depending on how the interview goes. Treat the other person with respect and make them feel comfortable. Most interviewee’s know when they bombed and the last thing they want is a bad, humbling experience. This doesn’t mean you always vote a “hire”, but don’t let your final judgement cloud your behavior in the interview.

Don’t jump into interview questions, right away.

Its annoying to be an interviewee where the interviewers show up and then ask you a question right away. Interviewing is a stressful experience to a lot of people and it's a good idea for the interviewer to let them relax by being friendly. A lot of the jobs, particularly in the tech industry are about collaboration and so there is no point in being cold and seeing how a candidate reacts in such scenarios. It makes sense to do an introduction of yourself, ask the candidate to explain their journey and then get into the interview. Also, a lot of jobs rely on good communication skills and whats a better data point than seeing how a candidate can describe their work experience in under five minutes?

Don’t make a decision until you get to write feedback.

There is a statistic that says that you get to decide on a hire vs no-hire decision within the five minutes of the interview. Perhaps, it could be true and perhaps it could be a data fallacy: a lot of us make decisions quickly and so, we feed into that narrative. Regardless, don’t rush to a hire or no-hire decision soon and then let the rest of the interview be on auto pilot. Use the interview time to ask thoughtful questions, help the candidate get unstuck and write down some feedback. Once you are done with the interview, enter the feedback as soon as possible and only then see whether the candidate passes the “hire” criteria or not. This way, you get a chance to ruminate on the interview feedback and decide whether the candidate ticks all or most of the boxes needed to hire.

Dont just keep typing. Listen.

Some companies and interviewers take the feedback to the extreme. They literally write a minute by minute summary of the entire candidate time, when they should be focussed on writing down a few thoughtful points and then later writing down a summary and insights of what they thought of the interview. Typing fervently during the entire time is counterproductive for several reasons: 1) The interview should be a two-way conversation. Never should it just be about one person talking and the other person being silent. Even in technical interviews like coding, the emphasis should be on communication and the why’s of the design choices. 2) Active listening helps the interviewee relax and makes the conversation productive. You could ask more insightful questions and lead to better decision making. 3) Too much feedback of minute by minute summary makes the hiring decision harder. None wants to know that a candidate coughed during an interview or erased code and rewrote some portions. Its hard to write insightful feedback whilst also listening to an interviewer.

Always remember that, given the nature of our jobs, our roles could get easily reversed and we will be at the interviewee chair waiting anxiously and nervously to get that next role. If you don’t believe, look at the long line of ex-googlers who are all fervantly searching the job market for their next roles. Who would have thought that?

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