Human memory! Such a fickle thing it is. Things that we think we can never leave aside leave us and then we find other things to hanker upon. Dreams that we never thought would happen true happen and yet we settle into the new norm.
When we were kids, our lives centered around our family. All we wanted was our parents and grand parents to be next to us. The fond memories of laughter over dinner, the watching TV together and the walking in the park or the zoo with cousins were all that we asked for. The TV sizes were much smaller, the technologies didn’t exist and yet we were all closer and fonder of each other. There were no fancy dinners, there was no expensive glamping and yet, we looked forward to those holidays and summer times to visit our cousins and to meet our grand parents and to bond over tiny things.
And then we grow up. And then we make some new friendships. Friends were all there to what life is! Going to a friend’s room, watching a movie, teasing about crushes and flings and eating out were irreplaceable. Not eating out as in going to a restaurant and get intimidated by the most elaborate menu, just going there and asking for the most easiest and convenient thing. Or sometimes just a single cup of tea and biscuits to munch alongside with it. Drinking a pepsi from a can was the thing! Burgers and Pizza’s were not cool back then, or perhaps unheard of in the little town I grew up at. And going to the nearby village was our vacation spot. You would think that that’s what there is to life. To have a decent salary and close friends near by and life will be heaven.
And then we grow up again! Love strikes and you would think thats it. You and your dearest. And thats it. Both of you, walking by the river side, seeing the sunset together and then taking loads of pictures with happy and silly faces and then sending each other romantic songs as dedications. And then shopping together to convert an erstwhile house to a home with some cute little decorations and buying new things together. A one-bedroom apartment, some good music and a once in a while dinner outside and sending each other some hallmark cards, what else could you hanker for?
The little ones arrive. The anxious moments where you hold a precious life in your hands and await anxiously for their cry to come out! And the nervous looks you trade with your loved one as you don’t know how you would handle this precious, little one! You read stories to them, you pamper with clothes and occasionally, you celebrate cheat days where you sneak some soda and chocolates by their side, while mommy is not looking. What else could you ask for in life?
You sit there and you are in a state of shock. You think the world has come crashing down on you and you would never get up. You do eventually and surprisingly you move on with your daily life. Initially, there is a sense of guilt and a gnawing sensation, but then you get used to it, the absence of a person who meant the world to you. And still, life goes in. You have still have other things to be grateful for, right? And slowly, things get moving way.
What happens after this is purely a matter of luck, or perhaps your approach to life. Someday, you will look in the mirror and you see this old person staring at you. This person with little or no hair, this person with white hair and this person with wrinkles on their face. You may see a face with a smile on it, perhaps preparing for their next journey from which they may never come back or this person with a sad, sullen face who is terrified of the journey to the other side and has regrets for a lifetime wasted.
Still, life goes on….
